|
101
Ways to Serve Humankind
by Shougun Shaiya
101 Ways to Serve Humankind
There are 101 ways
in which to best serve
the food called a Human,
which is not some rare kind of bird.
It is, in fact,
a mammel, like an ape, or a donkey,
except it does not bray.
Indeed, it is descended from a monkey,
or so it is believed,
though rarely are the two found together rooming.
The Human is troublesome
to prepare for a meal,
and it smells like a sewer rat.
Indeed, how it was conceived
that Humans are a treat
is beyond me. Alas, we make do!
Once while hunting upon the street,
One stumbled into me, I smacked
him unconsious,
then started to feed.
The bumblesome sort I had taken him to be,
sadly was I mistaken!
For halfway through eating,
as he awoke, the vulgar lout
copped a feel!
I promptly broke his neck right then,
and dumped his body in the fen.
He made a satisfying slurp
as he dissappeared from sight.
Now many of you must be having a doubt
as to why we should eat such dirt,
but truely, their blood
tastes much better than their smelly feet.
And, in baking,
develops a peculiar flavour,
that is liked in some places,
more than snails.
Some say it is not right,
Others say it is meet,
for us to eat
Humankind,
I say, it is meat, and no dessert till you're finished!
And no faking
by hiding it in your potatoes.
That particular bloke
is type A positive,
a rare type to savor.
Let me put you through the paces,
and you can find
how you like your Human done best!
These are my favourites.
Vanilla icecream with typo O sauce,
Humans on a stick,
fingers served with french onion dip,
geads stuffed with honey-glazed lemon rind.
Cheerleader's hair spagetti with veins,
fondue using liver and brains,
BBQ ribs, Human skin toss,
bloodsicles, and jello,
wine seasoned with a Human's ankle,
Human pie topped with merangue,
pickled eyeballs,
Human nose souflee,
potted Human, Human steak, Human-apple crisp,
a la flambe,
stomach brownies, julbilee,
Human pot roast, Human smores with marshmallow,
humanburgers,
steamed leg with cheese,
and of course my #1-
Human spicecake, overdone.
Take your pick,
sink in your fang,
and if you're pleased,
send me some money.
(I'm flat broke)
Fin
by Shougun Shaiya |
|
|
