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Kahreen had just walked into the room. Shaiya
was laying on the floor, reading a newsletter article and laughing herself
sick.
"Shaiya, don't be sick - it makes a mess on the
floor!" Ed stuck his tongue out at her.
"Okay," Shaiya grinned, "Usually I can hold
my food." Ed was struck by the image of Shaiya's food being held
back at "Customs" in an airport, and said so to Shaiya, who just laughed.
K9 suddenly got up and walked out of the room.
"Heh," Kahreen said to no one in particular, "Everyone
disappears tonight, don't they?"
"Shhh," Shaiya answered.
"I'd like to talk, but I'm under a vow of silence,"
Ed said. "Damn! Right, I'm really under a vow of silence now.
DARN..."
Shaiya laughed at Ed, then muttered "Hmmm," looking
at the article again.
"Shhh!" Ed said to her, then cursed.
"DAMN!"
"No! I will not be shhhed!" Shaiya retaliated
as Ed tried to talk while still keeping his vow of silence. Ed silently
warbled. Shaiya looked up at him, then rose from the floor.
"Ed," she said, "I'm stealing your popcorn
maker." Ed tried desperately to convey his thoughts on the subject.
"--- -------- -- ---- --! -----. -------- -- ----
---- ------. !!!"
"I'm going to give it to the toys for tots foundation,"
she continued, oblivious to Ed's attempts to communicate.
"--- -----'-- ----. ------- ---- -------...
-------!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ed silently warbled.
"They're going to strip it and crush the metal parts
into little cubes, and sell them for .25 cents," Shaiya informed
the luckless mime. "With the resulting quarter they will buy a piece
of gum for a lucky child."
"Strip what?" Kahreen woke up.
"Well! She lives!" Shaiya looked up
at Kahreen, then explained, "the popcorn maker I'm stealing from Ed who
doesn't seem to mind."
Ed laughed out loud, "Strip woke Kahreen quickly.
...DAMN!" Shaiya laughed as Ed continued in silence, "-----------
----- -------- ------ ------!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Haha!!!" Shaiya laughed wickedly.
"!!!!!!!! --- !!!!! --------- !!!!!! !!
."
Shaiya danced around the room a bit with Silver,
who had also, apparently, taken a vow of silence. Shaiya grinned
at Ed, and told him, "I'll just cart it out now. They're going to
give me a sticker for my hard work."
"!!!!! ... ---------- !!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! !!!!!!!!"
Ed said, writhing in agony. Shaiya grinned as though there was no
tomorrow.
"!! ---- ---- -- -------- -------- -----'-- ------!"
Ed shouted as K9 walked back into the room and curled up in front of the
fireplace. Shaiya unplugged the popcorn maker.
"----- --- ------ -- -------- --------- ---- -----
- -----. ---------- -- ---- --- --- --- !!!!!!!!!" Ed protested in
vain. Shaiya looked at the popcorn maker, unaware of Ed's silent
agony.
"--- --- ------- ----- ----. --------! -----
--- ------- --- --- ---"
"O!" Shaiya suddenly wailed, "I cannot bear to part
with you my dear popcorn maker!"
"HOOORAY!" Ed shouted in triumph, then muttered,
"DAMN!"
"Let us run away together and make popcorn!"
Shaiya continued, with wide eyes.
"DOUBLE DAMN!" Ed yelled, "DAMN FOR
DOUBLE DAMN! DAMN! -----!! -----." As Ed silently
cursed, Shaiya picked up the popcorn maker in her arms.
"--------!!!!!!!!!!!" Ed howled. Shaiya grabbed
a bag of unpopped kernels.
"We shall make these kernels pop together my dear
popcorn maker!" She turned over-bright eyes to the object of her
affection, stroking it with love.
"--- -------? .... !!! ---- --- ------ -----
--- ----!!"
"But first..." Shaiya turned to Ed, cradling
the popcorn maker, "we must ask the blessing of our dear friend, my brother
and your adoptive father, Ed."
"------!!!"
"O my brother, give us your blessing with either
silence or words!" Shaiya shouted with all the fervor of a fanatic.
"!!!!!!!! !!!! .... damn."
Ed spoke as Flynt walked through the door. "nooooo..... Hi
Flynt. DAMN! ----."
"What happened?" Flynt asked.
"--- ----- ---- ---- ---'- ------. ------
--- --- ---- ----- ------ ----!! --- ---- ---? -------- --- -----
---...." Ed said.
"Hi Flynt!" Shaiya piped up, still cradling
the popcorn maker.
"I'm talking a vow of silence," Ed told Flynt.
"DAMN! DOUBLE DAMN!" Shaiya giggled. "DAMN FOR DOUBLE
DAMN! DAMN FOR DAMN FOR DOUBLE DAMN!" Ed rambled.
"Ed?" Flynt asked.
"Flynt, meet popcorn maker, we are going to run
away together and make popcorn." Shaiya smiled at her brother.
"DAMN FOR... eh not this time." Ed said.
"--- --- -------- ---- ---. :)"
"Heh cool," Flynt responded.
"------ --- ----- --- -----!!!!" Ed said in
alarm.
"Ed hasn't voiced any disapproval of me taking his
adoptive offspring," Shaiya petted popcorn maker, "Isn't that so
dear popcorn maker?"
"--_!!! ----!!!! --------!!!! ------!_----_!!!!!!!!!!!!---------------------------....
---."
"Ahhh now I see." Flynt grinned.
"-----.... -----. ---- ---- ----- --- -- ------
---- ----.... ... ... !!!! -------!!"
"I can only assume he gives his blessing," Shaiya
continued. "Ed, I will take good care of popcorn maker!"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Shaiya smiled.
"---- -- ----- ----. :(" Ed said.
Shaiya swept popcorn maker off its supports.
"--- --------- --- -- ----- ------ ---..."
Shaiya looked up at Ed.
"Why Ed, you look sad," she said in suprise.
"!! !! !!" Ed said, "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---- ! -------- !!! ---- ----- -----!" Shaiya looked closely at Ed
for a moment.
"Ah but it must have been my imagination," she continued,
"You seem energetic enough."
".! . - . . :(
--- :*( ---- :*( ******"
"By the way do you have any caramel coating stuff?"
Shaiya asked, as if an afterthought, then noticed his long face.
"Awww..."
"CARAMEL??!!! NOOOOO!!!!!" Ed cried.
"You can't destroy lovely nice popcorn with CARAMEL!!!! You can't
be so cruel!!!! ...DAMN! DOUBLE DAMN... ah-ah. I'm smarter
than doing that again. ;)"
"We'll let you see the little popcorns, really!
At least the ones I don't eat," Shaiya protested.
"Heh sorry.. what is going on in here?"
Kahreen woke up.
"Witch!! How could you destroy tender, delightful
popcorn by putting on.... *sob* caramel?" Ed sobbed. "Hi Kahreen.
DAMN! I.... hmph. ------ --- ----- -----."
"Oh Ed, they don't stay young forever!" Shaiya
said, then turned to Kahreen, "I'm about to whisk popcorn maker away and
together we will make kernels pop. Say goodbye to Daddy popcorn maker!"
"..." Popcorn maker said.
"..." Ed said.
"Heh," Flynt said, viewing the absolute weirdness
the chatroom had come to.
"-- ----- ------ ---- ----- ------!"
"Hmm, or do you have any cheese powder?" Shaiya
wondered.
"CHEEEEEEEEEEESEEEE? NOOoooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ed screamed.
"Or perhaps chocolate sauce," Shaiya said thoughtfully.
"You MONSTER! Barbarian!" Ed shouted.
"With peanuts perhaps," Shaiya continued,
oblivious to Ed's reaction.
"I won't let you destroy my creations!!" Ed
yelled, ala Dr. Sevarius, grabbing the popcorn machine and pegging it.
"NOOO! Popcorn maker!!!" Shaiya screamed.
"DAMN!!!! err... ---- ----- -----!" Ed shouted.
Shaiya threw herself to Ed's feet, sobbing "popcorn maker!"
"O popcorn maker! We could have been so happy
together!" she sobbed.
"Popcorn maker, make your choice..." Ed said.
"..." Popcorn maker said.
"----!! ----- --- ----- ---- -----!!!!!
---?" Ed said to the popcorn machine.
"..." Popcorn maker said.
"!!!! --- -------- -- ------?" Ed said.
"O popcorn maker, I'll feed you with lovely oil
and kernels, choose me!" Shaiya yelled.
"..." Popcorn maker continued, "..."
"! ..... .... ... ? ............ ....?" Ed
asked.
"Our little popcorns will wear coats of cheese,
chocolate, and the finest caramel!" Shaiya rambled fanatically.
"..." Popcorn maker replied.
"Damn it's weird in here," Kahreen eyed the
group.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL THE TIME YOU WERE HAVING AN
AFFAIR WITH THE HOT DOG
BOILER???!!!" Ed yelled. Shaiya gasped in horror.
"Eh?" Kahreen said.
"Popcorn maker!!!!! How could you!!!"
Shaiya slapped popcorn maker and ran off sobbing to collapse on the couch.
Ed threw popcorn maker out the window.
"O popcorn maker, you were so cruel!" Shaiya
sobbed into the couch.
"Damn. Those things cost moola." Ed muttered.
"Oh well, you live and learn. Err, that is... .., ....... ...
.... ... ...... " Ed looked down, seeing that the popcorn maker had
landed on and old mattress. "Jammy popcorn maker!! Good grief,
the mattress is on the back of a truck to Hawaii!!!"
"... !" Popcorn maker yelled back to
his former home as the truck started down the road. Shaiya lay draped
across the couch, sobbing
"O couch you've always been there for me," Shaiya
said, hugging the couch. "Let's run away together and make dust bunnies!"
ED: Thank you, thank you. I'd just like to thank everyone for this production, and watch out for a sequel later this year. Firstly, those lovely people in the audio-visual department for directing Ed. Then, our heroine, Shaiya. And let's not forget the props department for that lovely mattress. And fake popcorn machine *pulls out real popcorn machine from behind chair* HAHAHAHAHA! ;) Maybe next time, eh?
Shaiya: *applauds* Well that was very entertaining thank you Ed :)
ED: Thank *you* Shaiya. *curtain falls* Damn, it's dark behind this curtain.
Shaiya: I think it's raining
ED: No, that's just the special effects department. *shouts* Chris, Lila! Could you stop it?
Shaiya: Lila?
ED: *Ed gets hit by lightning* Guess not.
Shaiya: Yikes!
ED: Yeah, she's filling in for her Uncle Sarah (don't ask).
Shaiya: o.0
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